“I think guilt is a universal part of being a mother” – Donna Karan
My kids are now 19, 16 and 13 and looking back I wish I had done so many things in a different way… but at the time you do what you think is right, you do what lies in your ability and knowledge, you do what your feelings tell you to do and sometimes you do what your kids or even your surroundings tell you to do !
Guilt is a feeling that will always be present and it definitely is universal as mums all over the world, no matter what race or age, suffer from.
Having kids certainly isn’t an easy ride… And now that my kids are at an age that they don’t “need” me anymore, I feel guilty for the times when they were younger and I didn’t have or make time for them. I sometimes ask them ‘don’t you wish we did this’ or ‘didn’t you miss that’… and of course my youngest would want to have that I-phone, my son is craving for that newest game computer and my eldest would really like a car, but besides the material things, they seem quite content with their lives so far. They certainly do not accuse me of neglecting them 🙂 . And that puts my mind at ease… (for a little while that is…). So I think mummy’s guilt is especially to be found between the ears !
In my opinion, as a fulltime working mum of three, you must take in mind two things : first of all it is important to remember the fact that whatever you did or will do for your kids is done with every intention to do good for them.
And second… build on memories as often as you can… and value those memories. That way, if you have a guilty mummy moment, you can think about the things you’ve done together and the things that are still on the agenda.
And if building your memories comes from the heart, than they will certainly stay with you for a lifetime…
(note to self : read these wise words again whenever you have a guilty mummy moment !)